Limbo

I am in complete limbo. I am right at the joint of different stories in my life, just floundering a bit like a fish out of water. About a year ago, as I was entering into my trip, I heard someone explain it in a way I can still remember. He said its like jumping into an ocean of water and re-learning how to breathe. I really could relate that to what I was going through, all the new things I was experiencing. But again?? What is this new ocean made out of? Something I struggle with is having to deal with the same issues over and over again in my life. I feel like if Ive overcome them once, why are we dealing with it again? I picked up my life and moved it before and it ended up beautiful, why is it difficult once again?
I have trouble being too hard on myself as well, Im working on it :)

I have also finally been able to articulate a little more about what I am going through. I had a friend ask me the other day, what are your passions? A simple question for some, I didnt have much of an answer. I HAD these passions that I now realize came to define me. They became my comfort and my go to for my lifes purpose. Some of these things include missions, traveling, kids, outreach, whatever. Now when I think of these things I just become instantly exhausted. And that is fine since I just spent the past year engaged in all these things every day, but what now? If those arent my passions and drive, then what is? It makes that joint between life chapters difficult to come out of because I have no next chapter to push myself into. This in turn makes my next chapter more of a risk. It isnt calculated because I really have no idea what to expect, no months and months of analyzing and making sure its what I really want to do.

My friend also said to me, "It will be neat to see where God meets you in your journey." Ive almost completely forgotten that God is there on this path with me. I sit and try and ready myself for the worst case scenario, already accepting in my mind the scraps of life. But honestly, I dont believe there is a worst case scenario with God. You are only given the scenario that you were made for.

Life is scary, life is hard, life is good.
Just call me Flounder :)